Like a Hurricane
by cloverish
Summary: Oneshot. The birth of α child is supposed to be the hαppiest moment in their pαrents' lives... right?


**This is a one-shot I wrote a few months back, this was my first OTH fanfic. I had posted it under another pen name, but I decided to delete it there and re-post it here. I haven't re-read otherwise I'd change most of it.**

**Like A Hurricane.**

_From Butterfly to unborn Hurricane._

'_You are like a hurricane,  
There's calm in your eyes.  
And I'm getting blown away,  
To somewhere safer  
Where the feelings stay.  
I wanna love you  
But I'm getting blown away."  
(Neil Young, Like A Hurricane.)_

Haley sat on her hospital bed, alone, as she had earlier requested. Alone with a notepad and Nathan's favorite pen.

She didn't know if she should or should not cry. She knew that_ that _might be_ it. _But it was also the very beginning. As confusing as that may sound.

Knowing she had to do something to keep her from collapsing into a fit of tears, followed by hiccups, Haley settled the portable table on top of her bed and placed down the notepad.

Closing her eyes shut, she tried to steady her breath and keep those unleashed tears from running down with full potential.

"_Little Hurricane of mine,"_ She started scribbling down on the notepad in front of her. _"if you're reading this, then… well, I guess I'm not around you anymore, and I apologize for that, if there was anything I could do to keep this from happening, I would. Believe me, little one, I'm hanging on for dear life."_

"Literally." She told herself and she sighed heavily.

Haley placed her hands on her swollen tummy, in the hope of feeling Michael, as they decided to call the baby, kick or move about.

He didn't.

She chocked a cry and tried to focus again on the task in her hands. Writing a letter to baby Mike. That baby she might just not have a chance to feed and tuck in, to cuddle and see the first steps, hear the first words and well, just watch him grow, really. And that was her greatest dream at the time.

"_Life… my life's always been like that. Like this. Like riding a roller coaster throughout a hurricane. It's about doing this you never imagined you'd do. With no holding back and no thinking twice. If possible, with no regrets._

_But as I did, you might regret many things in your life, and the key is to learn from your mistakes. They'll help you even if you may think otherwise. You'll have to learn not only from your's but from the mistakes others are bound to make._

_And even though sometimes you may think so, I'll tell you right here and now; it's not always your fault, baby."_

She put the pen down and shook her head. Soon she started writing again, but just for a second. A very hard and lonely second.

"_Right, I feel like I should try and cheer this up, but…"_

Haley couldn't hold them back at this point. She felt hot tears run freely down her cheeks. This couldn't be_it_. It was just too soon for_ it_ to happen.

She looked up, to the ceiling of the room. A blue balloon hung around in a corner; Nathan had written a '23' on it, under the baby's name. With that very same pen.

Peyton and Brooke had brought the balloon along with lots of other cute baby stuff. They were ecstatic about having a baby around, and everyone had many plans about what they were going to do once Mikey arrived. Nathan in particular was happier than he could ever imagine. He told Haley about his plans of teaching the baby how to play basketball, with no commitment, unlike his own father did.

Whenever Nathan came into the room, you could just feel the happiness barging in as well, and it killed Haley. Because she knew something she thought he didn't.

Yet, he knew it already. Nathan had talked to Haley's doctor and asked what was going on. His wife had a very un-haley-like behavior just about an hour earlier. She had asked them to leave.

Peyton, Brooke, Lucas, Karen and even Nathan. She asked them to leave her alone for a bit. Not wanting to stress the mother-to-be they did as requested.

Not long after, Nathan was filled in the situation. It was risky, it was unbelievable. It killed.

Haley had been going through a very hard period of her life, she had a pretty bad accident in the early stages of her pregnancy, and because of the damages that accident caused to her body she had to take some medicines. And those medicines kept her blood from clotting.

That, itself, was already a bad enough problem, but it didn't end just there. Apparently the baby was in a very difficult position and giving birth to him without surgery wasn't an option. Her water had already broken and they had very little time to decide what to do, either way, the chances of keeping both alive were next to nothing.

"The midwives tried to help turning the baby around, by massaging you wife's stomach, but apparently your son is quite comfortable at his sitting position and won't turn around. We have next to no options, and it's up to you two to decide. I'm sorry to tell you this, Mr. Scott, but it has to be soon."

That was it for Nathan. He couldn't choose between his loving wife and his new son, it just wasn't a right situation and there was no answer for that question. _'Who am I going to save?'_

But apparently, Haley had already decided.

"I'm doing this for you, love. I know it's not a good thing to put this weight over your shoulders but… I-I… there's not other…" Haley sobbed as she wrote down the words she said out loud.

"I'm sorry, baby." She closed her eyes and barely managed to keep herself from choking a cry. _"Don't be too hard on your father. I'm sure he'll try and do what's best for both, you and him. He'll just want to make you happy. He might have a short temper at times, my biggest hurricane, that's why I'm sure you'll turn out to be one too._

_Your dad's like a hurricane, but you can see calmness in his eyes. Those wonderful eyes hat hopefully will be passed on to you."_

She breathed in and out slowly. Would she even see if Michael's eyes were like his father's? Would she be able to hold him, just once?

"_You'll be born soon, and I can't even try to say how much I love you. You've been my rock, my reason to stay, my reason to believe in things I never did before. You're my everything and I hope you'll know that._

_You're my much loved hurricane. And as your father's… I will be your butterfly._

_Be safe, Mikey. I'll love you, always._

_Mommy."_

Haley folded the piece of paper neatly.

The nurses came to take Haley up to the C-section room. She panicked. She cried.

Nathan barged in the room and hugged her, careful not to hurt her, but still tight enough to let her know how much she was needed. How much she was loved and… just how much. How much.

"I-I… I have to do this, Nathan. There's no other way."

His insides screamed and yelled 'of course there is another way. There has to be!' but he knew it was a lie.

"T-They said they're not sure I'll make it." She gulped; her mouth went suddenly dry, unlike the rest of her face. Nathan nodded and kissed her, sadly, desperately. "But they didn't say I'm sure to be gone…" she trailed off. Nathan just kissed her again.

"I love you." Was all he could say. Haley could only cry harder by the time. He kissed her yet again, her cheeks, her forehead, her bottom nose and those lips. She closed her eyes in attemptof freezing time, just as she slipped the letter inside Nathan's jeans' pocket.

"Time to go," was announced. As they wheeled her to the elevator, Nathan kept holding her hand. They passed through the waiting room where everybody else was.

"I love you so much you have no idea." Haley chocked, and received a lot of hugs.

Brooke looked on the edge of losing it. Lucas couldn't watch Haley go. He just couldn't. Not when there weren't any garantees she'd walk back out. Safe and sound, happily with her little son in her arms.

Once she got inside the elevator Brooke broke down on Peyton's shoulder, Karen hugged her son.

Nathan walked away with a very far away look in his eyes. He punched the wall, it just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to take a child from a mother, now imagine taking a mother from a child.

He slid down the wall and sat down, burying his face in hands. As he did that a little piece of paper slipped out of his pocket.

"_From Butterfly to unborn Hurricane."_

_The End._


End file.
